My Diabetes is really being a bitch lately..I mean, I'm doing everything I can possible do and she still won't compromise....Give me a break. Every morning when I wake up my BS is low. Scarily LOW. And the worst thing is, I can't tell it is low until oh around the 30's, sometimes even the 28 range. Like my body has become use to this,which is a scary thought.
What scares me the most is that I'm sooo unbelievable afraid that one morning I won't wake up.I log all my carbs,bs,ect and keep in touch with my endo regularly. We've changed my rates,ratios many times.Still, we keep missing the mark. With this said, it scares the Hell out of me.
I have 2 small children & a husband(works out of town most time). What if I go to sleep to find my BS drops too low & my children can't wake me up.Which it does drop low All the time,but I can wake up,just very out of it and very slowly. (My BS is always around the 30's in the mornings)I do not want to put them through that or any of this for that matter. Luckily my 7 yr old knows what to do in case of an emergency,but still, I feel like why does my family have to be put through this.
I am desperatley tring to get a CGM(wish me luck).God knows I can't afford it on my own, so I'm hoping my Medicaid will cover(which I know it won't), but the lady told me to just keep appealing the denials.Believe me I will. To me the CGM will be my lifesaver, to help me live,to alert me. I pray the government will approve this Very soon but that's another topic for another day.
It's getting harder & harder to wake up in the mornings or anytime for that matter.I check my BS before I go to bed,which is always in good range. I make sure to try and eat something that has protien to substane me through the night. But still, this doesn't work. I've tried waking up at 3 or 4 am, to eat a small snack(per Dr.) to help fight off the lows. Even when I eat something with very small carb value & protien at 3am, it seems to boost me up too much and I wake up with a High...WTH....I feel like kicking the crap out of my Bitch of a disease...
Still I WILL figure out how to find an equal balance, I have to, for my kids sake. I pray each night that God will give me just one more day, to allow me to wake up and see my childrens faces...I have the will inside me to fight and I will continue to fight til the day I die(hopefully not anytime soon). I just pray my body will fight too. Until this comes about I hope to be able to find a medium or at least be able to go to sleep at night having peace.Declare Your Diabetes
Hang in there friend! Have you considered working with a Certified Diabetes Educator? They are really helpful in fine tuning insulin and helping with treating and preventing lows.
ReplyDeleteKelly K
Hi Kelly and thanks for the word of encouragement. Yes I see my endo about once a month and report my logs to them on a weekly basis.There is a dietian and DE that works there & with me too.We have done so many changes and it has gotten Alot better with not so many lows.But still have some regularly,like clock work.Thanks again for the support, hopefully we can get this under control.
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